Odie wrote: ↑02 Dec 2025, 22:34
The virginity proof, that a girl not found virgin would be returned to parents is probably still a pervasive culture in many parts of Ethiopia too. Where I grew up that used to be the trend. A girl by any failure having a baby before she married or have sex for that matter was a shame and she would be cast out; girls would sing a shaming songs in her name etc. I think society has changed much. Feminine views, right groups, girl education all played a role kind of liberating the female human in many ways. Sex work (this is the preferred word by the experts than prostitution) is a complex issue. If there are many sex workers in Ethiopia/Addis than your country, it may not be surprising as Ethiopia is a huge/big nation, and the statistics will show the percentage may be comparable with your country, but the absolute number may be larger in Ethiopia. Personally, I feel Ethiopians will revert to sex work now than any other time because of soaring living condition and the false prosperity propaganda and fast urbanization because people will do anything dirty to get money and stay alive. Girls forced into sex work don't necessary like it as most of them are a disadvantaged group. As I know from Ethiopia, usually, girls forced into marriage at early age, abused etc eventually move to the evil alternative when they leave the abusive relationship. If you take a sample of many beautiful girls involved in the issue in bar, most have a painful story, lost family, relationship etc. Also, some girls are trafficked into the sex work by cadres, corrupt officials etc. like the way many girls deliberately exported to Arab land. Somewhere in developed world there are some women who get into sex work as a choice, perhaps few. The force that forces girls into sex work in poor nations could be a lot different than in developed countries. Still, some joke sex work is one of the oldest job descriptions in human history and is not something that can be used to stereotype any society. Change in society and culture obviously continues to shape sexual behavior of people.
Once I heard from an Eritrean I knew, talking about bridegroom price being paid by the families of the bride (the girl) which could be costly. That is the reverse of what is done in Ethiopia where the bride gives bride price to family or the girl. I don't know how much of that is true in Eritrea. In India, the girl family has to pay a lot to the bridegroom as price/gift and many parents used to opt to abort a girl baby than a boy. I think the government/women right group have been working to reverse that. This plays a role in deciding for a woman who to marry. Instead of paying an exorbitant sum or gift to her country man, she may prefer to marry a man that can feet a large sum to her family[/color][/b]
In Eritrea, no one forces you at gunpoint to pay a dowry to marry a woman. Instead, you respectfully approach the bride’s parents and ask for their blessing. When you ask, “What is your demand?” you are essentially asking how many grams of gold they would like you to provide for their daughter.
If they say, for example, that they expect 150 grams of gold, you do your best to fulfill that request. As a gesture of goodwill and fairness, the parents usually return the monetary value of the gold back to you after you provide it for their daughter. Even if the parents say, “Take her as she is,” and place no obligation on you to give gold, your sense of dignity as a groom will still motivate you to adorn your bride with gold jewelry on her wedding day—the most special day of her life.......Otherwise, once you build a family with her, she is going to continue to humiliate and nagg you for the rest of your life.
Because of this, Eritrean society is quite flexible when it comes to dowry traditions.
Beyond the dowry itself, marriage in Eritrean culture is a major communal event. The responsibility doesn’t fall only on the bride’s parents; the entire extended family becomes involved to make sure the wedding is smooth, joyful, and memorable and something all the relatives can feel proud of it.
