CNN: Why did you call the cease fire a "sick joke"?
Getachew Reda: Because it effectively makes the TPLF bear the heavy burden associated with all the problems in Tigray. I don't think we are ready for that.
CNN: Were you expecting anything different?
Getachew Reda: Yes, we wanted the war to continue so we can claim to be innocent victims to garner enormous international sympathy as we did the last 7 months. Now all that will be gone soon and the world will see us as blood-thirsty, murderous villains.
CNN: So what are you plans to ignite another round of conflict for the continuation of the war?
Getachew Reda: I have already given a statement saying that we will attack the Eritrean and the Amhara people wherever we can find them.
CNN: But that would suicidal, wouldn't it?
Getachew Reda: We have already been designated as a terrorist group, so we have no other choice but to live up to our new name.
CNN: You find yourselves sandwiched between the Eritrean Defense Forces and the Amhara Special Forces. This time around, they may wipe you out from the face of the Earth. Are you ready for that?
Getachew Reda: Our TPLF supporters in the Diaspora have assured us that they will vandalize their own vehicles, roll on the ground throwing temper tantrums, and litter the Social Media with misinformation.
CNN: But how does that save you from imminent extinction?
Getachew Reda: It doesn't. It does however boost the morale of our child soldiers to fight to their deaths, provided that we have enough supply of marijuana and benzine to get them high.
CNN: Isn't that child abuse?
Getachew Reda: I was abused as a child and it didn't stop me from abusing other children. I guess it's in our culture to abuse children so as to prepare them for a life of abusing others.
CNN: Do your Western backers know all this about you people?
Getachew Reda: Yes, definitely. The Westerners like to define Africans as primitive, cruel and barbaric, and we are willing to reinforce that negative stereotype as long as they support us.
CNN: Aren't you Africans as well?
Getachew Reda: Our forefathers came from Yemen and settled in what is known today as Tigray. I guess that makes us Arabs.
CNN: Do you ever consider repatriating back to Yemen, the land of your forefathers?
Getachew Reda: That requires crossing the Shark infested Red Sea. But if an opportunity arises, we may attempt to make the crossing by throwing Tegaru children into the sea to keep the sharks preoccupied that they will let us cross without becoming their dinner. That's how we have been crossing the crocodile infested Tekeze river.
CNN: I don't think the world has ever seen people as cruel as you agame.
Getachew Reda: Thanks for the compliment. ፈረንጂ ይስዕር!! Sorry I meant to say, ትግራይ ትስዕር!!
